Manly Monday: Pick Your Battles

Gentlemen let’s be honest.  The wedding day is about your “bride to-be”.  Personally, I am a firm believer that a wedding should be about the couple.  The wedding and reception should be a celebration of your love and future life together, containing unique details which highlight your together has a couple.  However, the reality of the situation has become that society dictates that the entire wedding is more about your fiancé and her “special day”.  Because of this societal convention there will be an entire series of pressures and worries which your fiancé will shoulder and endure.  So with that being said, the faster you realize it’s more about her, than you, the better things will be.

At the same time women, you must not abuse this power dictated by society.  You must respect this authority and realize how often your fiancée feels left out, or neglected, during the wedding and its planning processes.  I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have heard guests talk about “how handsome the groom looked at the wedding,” before they discussed “how gorgeous the bride looked walking down the aisle.”

Gentlemen, there is good news though.  Society has coined a term for “brides-to-be” who do not respect their bridal authority.  A word which more often than not strikes fear into the heart young women……….bridezilla.

Now don’t get me wrong.  Women, you do not have a blank check to do as you please during your wedding planning period.  At the same time, gentlemen, pick your battles.  This is the most single important piece of advice I can give “grooms-to-be”.  Gentleman, when an issue arises in which you don’t agree with your fiancé, take a moment and really consider if the issue is worth having a discussion or “fight” about.  Also, take into consideration if that issue is going to directly affect you.  Is it really worth not being talked to for a week because you don’t like the color of the bridesmaid’s dresses (or is it?  I am going to be spoken to about that comment I am sure).

Gentlemen, what I recommend is creating a list of the aspects of the wedding which mean the most to you.  If you would like to pick your own tuxedo, put it on the list.  If you enjoy floral arrangements and want to have a larger role in picking the center pieces, put it on the list.  By creating a list and delivering it to your fiancé you have declared up front those issues which are worth battling about to you.

More importantly you have established the most important part of any relationship, a clear and direct line of communication.  By creating a clear line of communication, picking your battles, and understanding the societal pressures of the wedding on your fiancé you will directly be supporting your fiancé.  This support leads to a happy wife, and as my wife says, “happy wife, happy life”.

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